Unfortunately, even the best maintained friendships can end.

Why am I writing again…?

Sitting down at my office desk, I realize how I miss several people in my life and long lost friendships. Many friendships end because of a change in personality or lifestyle when friends just drift apart and fade away with time. There is a retreat from self-disclosure and seeking out each others company. Avoidance begins. The friendship slowly loses importance and finally disappears. But then, there are those that just decided to stop being friend with me, and this is the most agonizing. I have and had those that labeled as good friends, best friends, or even close friends. By the way, are there any significance differences?

Good friends – those that are always been decent enough for us?
Best friends – those that are ‘just what the doctor ordered’?
Close friends – those that are always there for you, through good and bad?

Well, that could only be my assumption, my understanding, but foremost, how I want them to be! Back to the story on those decided don’t want to be friend with me. When the thing hit me on the face, it hits me hard. Some would ask why I didn’t fight for the friendship. I would always retort with silence. Then the only respectable thing to do was crying. Unworthy and betrayal… It took me by surprise to hear them from someone that I looked up for being strong, open-minded and funny. But most of all, someone that always make sense to me. Torn me apart when undelivered communication was stuffed down, no opportunity was given. And for years I have dodging bullets with my silence. And even the silence felt like somebody snatch your heart and stab it into pieces...

Now, I am still wondering. What does it takes to have a good friend that is best enough to bring it closer deep to my life? Or perhaps I should be humble enough to be needed, appreciated and loved by a friend?

The hardships of life seem bearable with a confidante known as a friend. Life is about twists and turns. There are happy endings with sad interludes. One needs to talk to someone or consult a person. And I hope, those that ended friendships with me, would find a replacement as I know life is not getting easier without one. Though modern life is tough and meeting a good friend seems difficult, there is always the need to share and preserve friendship. But life is sad at times and misunderstandings may make you lose friends...

Still standing…If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.

parting with my d60...

Today, finally I posted my d60 ad. Feel so sad. But now I’m facing financial hiccup and it leaves me no choice. Slowly I’m selling my belongings just to cover this. Regret? Of course. I could have done it better. Well, lesson learned!

no more FB?!

The office was kecoh since last week because of the browsing issue. Well, I wouldn’t want to say that we don’t have work to do. But since last year, the amount of work has been decreasing due to many reasons, which one of it because of the economic downturn.

The fact that we are working in a shopping complex, has already creates many loiterers during the office hours, as well as taking such a long lunch break. For myself, I’m guilty as a sin. I’m a frequent flier to the famous ‘Technology Hub’ nearby and Chop Shops from Bolton to Puchong!

Perhaps, by ‘look look busy’ is better than being downstairs. In a way, browsing internet would be the in thing for us now. There you’ll find the FBians that love to chat, ambik tahu hal orang and the most unacceptable in my right mind…bercucuk tanam and memancing! Also you will find forumners that relates to who are they during off day. Not to forget, bloggers like me!

Now, the people are taking another exit, which is spending more time during the cigi break. I wonder whether the GOVERNMENT will take another stupid action about it. The lost of the hardcore during 3 years has made our ‘vulnerable time’ labeled as ‘curik tulang’.

They as the GOVERNMENT have to understand, that this is a 2nd waved, and I as one of the nested people feels that this is too much. Promises after promises and actually nothing is being done.

The valid step is to find the exit and move on!